Toxic Friendships

When we first meet people in our life, we never know the impact that one person can have on our life. Will they help us succeed in life? Will they bring us down to their level? Are they the type of person who would be a good influence in our life?

I have never asked myself that question until recently. I have been shown that you do not have to have people in your life who won't help you obtain your goals.

In high school, I was in a very toxic friendship. She would pinch me, hit, basically abuse me mentally, emotionally and physically. I do not think teenagers think there is anything wrong with this.

There is. Any type of person who would do stuff like that was not a friend at all. You do not have to be in an intimate relationship with someone in order to be abused. Friendships are also abusive.

As I look back on those years, I wish that I would have ended that friendship the moment that happened. Was she a good fit in my life? Absolutely not.

As I got older, I was able to break away from that toxic person. We both went down the path of addiction. Hers a little longer than mine.

Then a few years ago, we came back into one another's lives. Was that a good decision on my part?

Absolutely not. It did show me thought the type of person (if I didn't already know) she really was.

I grew out of everything from high school. She never did. If I commented on someone's picture or post she didn't like, she would get mad and do the whole 20 questions. Mind you, we are both in our 30's.

If I tried to be honest and a good friend about the decisions she was making, I was deemed jealous and wanted her life. *insert eye roll here*

Am I still friends with this person? Absolutely not.

The thing with friends is that you have to choose who you want in your life. I was told last night that no one can make you stay in their life and that is exactly what she was trying to do.

I can get over things, but I will not forget some of that stuff. You can forgive someone and move on with your life.

I always worry about my little sister because I know how girls are and I know how girls can be. She used to have a friend who would get mad about her having other friends and I told my sister that I had a "friend" like that in high school.

So how do you prevent getting into a friendship with a toxic person for over 18 years? You just make sure that that person is someone who is going to be a good asset in your life.

A friend who won't bring questionable people around you.

A friend who will cheer for you while you chase your goals.

A friend who won't take out pills in front of your niece.

Do I have friends like that now?

I absolutely do. My friend Jen, Sara and Diane.

These 3 women are women who have helped me. Women who cheer me on regardless if I am just starting out with something.

Those friends support everything I do and they tell me like it is. They don't sugar coat things for me.

You can only help someone for so long before they start bringing you down.

Luckily, I get to live my life in peace without that toxic friendship.