Support Is A 2 Way Street
This week was probably one of the hardest weeks I have had in a while. Everything throughout last week was just going wrong and it felt like an emotional rollercoaster all week long. There are days whenever I have cravings so bad and want to just forget the last 8 years and go out and drink. I very rarely have those days but this week was full of them. I feel like this week was one of those weeks where I felt like I could have done that. I think every alcoholic has that from time to time and sometimes those thoughts are damn near impossible to block out. Sometimes it is just little things that trigger us and a lot of little things triggered me this week. One thing I know is that I am glad I did not relapse.
I have a very hard time with the fact that I do not get the support that I want so much from my family. This weekend was just that. I have been quiet about the things that go on in that area because I know what people in my hometown think of my family. I am done though. I cannot continue to think that I will get that support from them. What is funny is that they want me to support their stuff and yet they have never been to any of my competitions nor did they support my decision to get sober when I did. Another thing is they do not support my relationship (which is my fault). The thing is I do not give a crap anymore what their opinions are.
I have worked my butt off to get to where I am. I also had one of my mom's loud mouth friends try to get in my face about me taking the consequences of my actions. Seriously you drama hungry old woman, GTFO! Good thing about this is none of my family ever reads my blogs or anything so I know they will not see this. What is funny is I have been on 2 podcasts this year, will have my second competition this year coming up next weekend and World Finals in July and I can guarantee you that I will be going to those by myself.
I do not think it is too much to ask for support from people who are supposed to be there for you. You can guarantee though that I AM DONE TRYING with them!!!