It's been awhile

For the last month it has been hard to get the desire or initiative to want to blog. A lot of people do not read my blog so this is basically like my own personal journal. It has been a whirlwind of a month. The quarantine has not really been good to a lot of people, myself included. I have tried to stay positive with everything going on as well as stay as neutral as I possibly can on my social media. I feel like there is enough negativity surrounding that stuff that I do not need to add on to it.

One thing in the last month that I have noticed about myself is that I no longer tolerate things that I do not want in my life. I have never been the one to stand up for myself so about a couple of weeks ago I actually did. It felt extremely nice to get everything off my chest and yet at the same time it should have been directed to more than one person. I really wish I could have done that. I know though that had I stayed where I was I would have exploded. I have done pretty well with my anger and in my family people do not take too kindly to pointing out their wrongdoings.... Go figure!

I have recently noticed though that sometimes the people who say they love you and will be there for you usually are not. I have always tried to be there for the people that I love and sometimes it feels like I go out of my way more than they ever would. That is not something I imagine because it usually happens. My life that I live now is one that I am happy living because it is mine and I am not following in anyone else's footsteps. I am basically making my life completely different from how I saw it growing up in my entire family. It does not make me better than anyone it just means that I want something completely different for my life and you better believe that I will get it.