As the year ends and it gets closer to my sobriety date, the weeks start to get tough. I do not know if it is because I am constantly in my head around this year or whether it is because of this entire year. I have gone through so many emotions this year, that it seems to catch up with me around the end of it. Each addict or alcoholic has its very own way of dealing with things or how their sobriety is for them.
For me, I tend to get irritable around this year. Some days I think it is really weird to be sober. I then remember though that I am grateful for every single second I am sober. The emotions that goes with this tend to be a rollercoaster ride. It is easy for us to go back into those old habits like it was just yesterday. The things that we do though help mold us into the person that we were meant to be.
I do not pretend that I know what it is like for others because I don't. I know what my addiction was like and I know what my recovery is like. What works for me may not work for someone else. I take this day by day and pray that I am able to wake up every morning sober. I am very careful when it comes to my sobriety because at any moment I could relapse. It is something that scares me every day because I have had so many others tell me that we relapse when we least expect it.
With everything that is going on right now, I am thankful for the sober community. I am thankful that there are others around me willing to share their story as well as support one another. As I continue this journey, it is important that I share my story for anyone who will listen. I never know what my story will do for someone else but I hope that it inspires someone.
As I get closer to my 8 year sobriety date (WOW!!) it is absolutely surreal. I always say that I could not have done it without my boyfriend, which is 50% true. I am so glad that I chose to invest in me and do what was right for me. Without his help, I would not be where I am today. He opened the door for me and I chose to walk through this path. It is by far the hardest thing I have done and yet it is the most rewarding thing I have done.