A Week of Learning
As the days progress in this quarantine, you have time to think a lot about your future, goals, and mainly things about yourself. I have been journaling throughout this entire week about my goals and what has been going on in my life. I sometimes forget that there are still things that can trigger a relapse for me. This week I had decided to try something different to drink. My childhood friend had suggested a Topo Chico and so I tried it. They come in a glass bottleneck. When I took a drink of that, I could feel the carbonation of it. After I put it down, I noticed myself waiting for that beer taste. Mind you, I haven't really had any triggers in awhile. I am 7 years and 4 months sober and it scared me that something so small caused a trigger for me.
Each person in their recovery has their own triggers and their own way of coping with those triggers. After that first drink of just carbonated mineral water, I poured it out. I have the capability to know what triggers me. I know myself better than anyone else. That is one thing people do not understand about sobriety. You cannot tell a recovering alcoholic what they feel or what they need to do unless you have been through it yourself.
The one thing that has helped me so much this week is that I have stayed busy with school as well as training. My ninja training (with obstacles) has been put on hold since the Ninja gyms I go to are closed. My home gym in Midland, Texas has been absolutely amazing throughout this entire thing. They give us challenges throughout the month and help us stay motivated every single day. This week has also given me the time to reflect on how special that one person in my life is and how I am extremely grateful that I am still head over heels in love with him. We can't take the little things for granted. I have tried to embrace all the changes that have happened. I am able to look at myself with pride and confidence of sharing and being vulnerable with the people who are in my life, whether it be on Instagram, Facebook or real life. My story is my journey and I will not ever be ashamed for it.