Why?

It's been a rough past week for me. There are very few times when I'm emotionally and mentally drained. This week was one of them.

Monday, I would be fine then start crying. This continued all the way through Thursday.

My emotions have been all over the place and I'm not really sure why.

Life has been going fairly well so I'm not sure why I would be feeling this way.

I do feel like that things I've been suppressing are starting to come out.

I'll be 35 in a month and that was my cut off age for kids.

I'm tired of people telling me that I have to choose between being an athlete and being a mom.

Being an aspiring model or being a mom.

Having a full time career or being a mom.

I've talked to multiple women who do those things.

Women who handle it all and still have their identity.

One thing I'm tired of is feeling like I've lost control of my life.

It's like other people have control over my life and I don't have any say so in the timing of things.

So, how do I fix that?

There's multiple ways to fix that.

I'm tired of worrying about people's feelings and being guilt into doing things for other people.

I have so much going on emotionally and mentally with my 4th step that it is taking everything out of me.

I guess we'll see what the next few months hold.